I didn't have a really stellar career (I was just an apprentice horse trainer) but I'll be a SAHM for... a long time. I'm leaning very heavily towards homeschooling, so that's the next 18 years shot.

1. I do miss interacting with people. At work, you get breaks, you can go on lunch, there are slow periods... being a SAHM never ends. I worry about getting back into riding after being out of it for years and being able to find anyone who would take me on as a working student. I worry about if I'm isolating my daughter too much. I don't really regret staying home, as in I wish I hadn't done it. But I've only been home for about a year now- my daughter will be one in February.

2. I don't have any plans to make money- I don't think I have the skills or self-discipline to be a WAHM, and my husband makes enough that we can pay all our bills and usually have enough for food and gas. I won't be buying anything fancy anytime soon, but we aren't starving.

3. If I don't homeschool, then once my daughter is in school I'll start trying to find a barn I could work for in exchange for riding lessons, or I'd find a pet store or tack store to work in if that doesn't pan out.

4. See #1.

1. Adult conversation is not something I take for granted anymore. It's also frustrating to see my skills degrade and know that if I do choose to re enter the job market I will have a lot of catch up to do.

2. This isn't an issue for us, so I have no suggestions here.

3. Honestly, I can't answer that question. On one hand I'd like to see myself reentering when the baby is around five. However, I don't know that it will be practical or productive for me to do so at that point.

4. See number one. I miss adult conversation.

However, despite all of the above I have never regretted my decision.

I am a work at home Mom. Not quite what you asked about, but it is a valuable option if you get it. I have minimal face time at work which would be an obstacle to promotion, but really, I am not interested in any job with less flexibility than I currently have, so I will worry about moving my career along when my children are older, if I still care.

1. No regrets. Without this option, I would be working a parttime schedule at maximum. There was no way I could have given my daughter what I thought she deserved and my job what it needed. I had to work fulltime for 8 weeks before training for work at home and the schedule was killer, even with my husband and I switching off to minimize our daughter's time in daycare. I was exhausted and I didn't feel I was doing anything any justice.

2. I still do my same job, so my money and job are the same.

3. I think my family and the flexibility that I currently enjoy will remain more important than my career permanently.

4. I miss interaction with my co-workers on occasion, but not as much as I would miss spending time with my child.

i didnt do exactly this but i did something similar.
i gave up a job where i was making well into 6 digits, had part ownership in a company, and had everything paid for. I left there and now have to even pay back things benefits that i used so i am in debt to them.
i took a job where I work 35 or so hours and where i get home earlier and have more flexiblity. i also took a paycut of around 65%.

I dont regret it but I do wonder sometimes if I was stupid to give up the job of a lifetime for my kids. I know it isnt exactly what you are asking for but maybe this is an option for you.

My job was fairly average (administrative assistant at a university/professional quilter), and I do not miss it at all. What I do miss is time to pursue my passions. I have a degree in Creative Writing, and it is the time that I miss. Time to write, time to edit, time to play with words, and read other authors, and do research. I miss just being able to sit and look out the window. I miss the passion I used to have for words.

That said, it is a trade off I do not regret. I am passionate about different things now, and I am keenly aware that these years are going to fly by. I know in ten years I am going to have the time again, but I also know I am going to miss the tiny hands, the nursing in bed, and the lazy lazy days.

I was in school to get a double doctorate. I had finished my PhD defense while I was pregnant with my first and had two years of medical school left before I decided to SAH.

1. What about doing so do you regret? (Candor appreciated.) I regret not finishing up my medical degree.

2. What do you do, if anything, on the side to make money? Is it related to your field? I now have a business as a photographer, and it's totally not related to my field.

3. Do you have plans on re-entering the workforce later on? And if so, what timeframe have you set for yourself? Technically I'm in the work force now. I'm thinking (my doctorate was in the health care field) of going back to school once my kids are school age and getting back in Public Health.

4. Is there anything you miss? I miss it all. I miss the lab work, I miss interacting with adults, I miss the challenges of trying to solve dilemmas that didn't include poop explosions.

Honestly, if I had to do it again I would SAH again in a heart beat. These years with my kids when they are so small - I'll never get them back. I can always go back to school and I'm still fairly young and my mind's pretty active. I'm glad I made the decision to SAH and have these moments with my kiddos, even though I miss the activity and bustle of my research.

I just worked retail and temp jobs before I got pregnant. I end up not being able to work during my pregnancy do to extreme morning sickness and then I ended up with a high risk pregnancy. So I had tons of doctors appointments from 4 months on.

1. The only thing I would say I regret is not getting out of the house as much. Part of that is do to living in WI and last winter wither a ton of snow was on the ground or it was to cold. Other wise in the spring through fall we get out of the house a lot.

2. We are lucky that my boyfriend makes enough money to support us with out me working.

3. once my son is in school full time I may find a job that allows me to work while he is in school.

4. I miss having my independence some. I have to get money from my boyfriend for any thing I do. So i tend not to do as much or buy some of the things I may normally have bought since I don't have what I think of as my money.

[Slightly OT - but with your current job, I reccommend looking into being a virtual assistant/administrator. I'm only beginning training with someone else who does it, but I have been told that the publishing sector is outsourcing more of its work so you might be able to grab something that fits around your momhood]

I wanted to go in academia [Sociology, particularly the study of religion and the concept of multi-culturalism/multi-background culture] but was still at Uni level when I had my first and knew that there was little way I could cope with both the way I wanted to. I took a break from academia (well, I forced to due to immigration issues but that's another story :P). I don't regret it, it has helped me slow down a lot and assess what I really want out of life, the costs of some goals, and build a life rather than just a career (which had been the mindset I was raised in...]

I was 'just' a SAHM for over two years while my husband finished his degree. I have gone back to Uni since my first, but it's more a 'I want to complete this as part of my life' than the ever consuming drive towards academia I had before.

I'm currently building a portfolio of work, rather than focusing on one thing to bring in income (My goals is for my portfolio to make us self-sufficent when the student grants/loan ends and so we can live without my husband's disability benefits should the government mess with those...). I'm currently employed as a classroom speaker (technically in my field, I speak on my faith and topics from that point of view, with looking at widening my topics in the future as demand dictates). I'm currently training to be a virtual assistant after talking to one at a job fair and she's taken me under her wing a bit to help me get off the ground - I'm hoping to have that running early next year and a couple other ideas I plan to implement hopefully next summer.

I've also become very good at flogging off things we don't really like anymore, or trading in old movies for credit towards new movies/games/other extras.

When I was completely away, I missed being up-to-date and feeling active in the community.

I am so glad you posted this. I am struggling with what to do myself. I switched my position to part time last year (director of admin and project manager for a nonprofit) so that I could also work on my dissertation. Now I'm still at work part time and my PhD is on hiatus this year. I have to decide what to do next fall. I can't work, be a mommy and do a dissertation. We don't make enough to live on one salary, nor enough to pay for daycare. It's been a real juggle. I look forward to reading what other women here say.

I was an editorial assistant for the highest-circulation art magazine in the world. I only worked half-days, so my salary wasn't huge and I didn't get benefits, but it was certainly a door to a lucrative professional editing career, especially when coupled w/ my master's degree in that field. I opted to stay home with my son instead, doing some freelance writing/editing, but with mothering and managing the household being my primary job.

I can honestly say that I've had very few regrets. Money comes and goes, but you don't get those early years with your children back. I sometimes miss working in a professional environment, and I miss making the connections with others in my field, but not enough to go back to work while my kids are young. I have some longer-term plan to acquire my PhD and teach on a college level, but that's a ways in the future.

1. I don't regret it.
2. I don't make money, but I do save money eg by cooking from scratch, walking everywhere, shopping in the sales etc.
3. Yes but I'm not sure about the timeframe. I'm currently homeschooling, so whenever I decide my youngest is ready to go to school - but I haven't yet decided what age I will homeschool till.
4. Having money to spend on myself, and having adult company. I do still have adult company, but I have to work harder at it. And I do feel unappreciated sometimes - but then what parent doesn't.

Interesting question. I am an attorney and I have two small kids. However, my husband is in the Army which means that, until he retires, my job will always be second and I am often stuck taking whatever I can find in my field. So, my kids are not my only obstacle at the moment to having a successful career. Still, I was working at a good paying job in my field and I left it 10 months ago when my son was born.

I stayed home with my daughter for 17 months and then I stayed home with my son full time until he was 6 months old. At six months, I started working 20 hours a week. It's a good balance but I miss my son. At the same time, when I was home exclusively, I missed my job. I missed solving problems and coming up with creative ways to do things.

In my current 20 hour a week thing, I make almost no money, but I have the flexibility to leave when I need to and I'm learning a lot.

I think in the next 3 years or so, I will go back to working full time. However, I'm going to try hard to take a job that is only 40 hours a week and not something more. I've found that, with my husband's job (fairly demanding) if I'm pushed to the max, we all suffer. I regret that because there are some cool things I'd like to do but when I decided to have kids, I knew I wanted to put them ahead of any career decisions I might make.

1 - I do have some regrets, no doubt. I was raised by a single mom. Fundamentally there's this voice in the back of my head which tells me that because I have no job I am not secure. The fact that we are well supported by my husband goes right over that voice's figurative head. Completely doesn't register. It took me years to be able to stop hearing it, and really, it's just quieter, not disappeared.
2 - I started a small business selling solidly documentable fabric to re-enactors, but with the advent of baby no. 2 that has fallen by the wayside. Two children is quite different than having one, and I'd started that business much later, after Meg was cognizant that walking away from me in such a case was a no-no. I have a friend who runs a much more established business in re-enacting, and I occasionally do some work for him but that's really more for our hobby, not so much for really helping in the family budget.
3 - Not till the kids are older, minimum, barring a severe case of Life. Unless I can get a very well paying job (unlikely in this area and in my state of being mom to two kids, let's be honest) it's rather pointless because childcare will sap all to most of most any paycheck that I bring home. Any money I make must therefore pretty much be made from home in between caring for and teaching children. I'm trying to investigate freelance reviews of the local arts scene for local papers actually, on the recommendation of other, published individuals. We'll see - this would be my first real foray into this area. I don't even yet know the pay rate or method for such.
4 - I miss the more regular exposure to other adults but have found replacements for that in hobby groups, LLL meetings, and the like. The 'Net also helps.

I have a bachelor's in entrepreneurship and business management. I worked several BS multiunit retal management jobs to the tune of $12 an hour for the first two years because i was unable to find anything better. i was diagnosed with situational depression as a result (though i was never on any medication). I would get interviews and never any call-backs and i believe it was largely due to my age (i was 19 when i got my BBA).
in november of 2006 i eloped with my husband (city hall marriage) and that made my family mad so we had a wedding in april of 2007. two weeks before the wedding i was offered a job making $40-80K (part commision). I was SO excited. I accepted and they gave me off for my wedding and honeymoon. Paid. The day of my wedding i took a test and found out i was pregnant. I had gotten one of those fancy digital ones accidently and i called my husband in to see the flashing hour glass because i thought he would apprieciate it because he likes gadgets...it was positive before he could walk down the hall. at the time i was two days late and assumed it was the stress of the wedding and took the test to make me feel calmer at the wedding (fyi taking a pregnancy test before any big event may not be the best idea...though at least i knew not to drink).

Anyway I was VERY VERY conflicted about the pregnancy because we'd always planned on kids and neither of us wanted an abortion, but our daughter was not planned for another few years...time to pay off our debt that my new job would afford.

I was unable to return to that job because despite the nice paycheck, i made base plus commisssion and i could not count on anything more than my base. it would have been most of my check to put dd in daycare because i was required to work 12 hours a day 5 days a week. there is no partime. however, i was told i could go on temp parttime for a year or 18 months after the baby was born. when she was 4 months old i found out that they promised something they did not verify with the corporate office about and corporate said no.

1. What about doing so do you regret? (Candor appreciated.)
I don't regret anything. for a long time i felt like i'd missed my shot to make a livable wage, but i've stopped dwelling on it, because even if she were school age working 10am to 10pm i would rarely see her. i am not ok with that.

2. What do you do, if anything, on the side to make money? Is it related to your field?
I opened a business selling cloth diapers and related accessories and green products (feel free to browse! www.prettyprinteddiapers.com or prettyprinted.etsy.com). It is sorta related to my field in that I had gotten my bachelor's with the intention of opening a business but I never had a very good idea or approach and i "never had time" (which i would like to say after having a kid i actually understand). I actually made the diapers to save money vs. disposables and vs. buying cloth diapers since i've sewn for years. I got a lot of compliments on them and I finally had the drive and motivation to open a business...it's not the high end fashion business i had dreamed of, but honestly this is more profitable and there is less competition.

3. Do you have plans on re-entering the workforce later on? And if so, what timeframe have you set for yourself?
If i'm not makinga decent living with my company by the time my daughter is 4 i will probably seek other employment. however, i think it'll be good.

4. Is there anything you miss?
adult interaction. if you do stay home find a lll, find a play group, get out and do things.

1. What about doing so do you regret? While there are definitely things that I miss, I don't think there is anything about my decision that I regret. I would miss my son far more than anything I currently miss. I can't imagine not being here with him. I can't picture anyone else being as loving and gentle with him as I am, especially when he's being a screaming fussbucket.
2. What do you do, if anything, on the side to make money? I've been selling stuff on Craigslist and going to local consignment shops - selling baby stuff that I no longer need and didn't like enough to save for next baby. Mostly, we spend less money by me being home (no daycare, no work clothes, less gas/car usage, more time to cook and shop smartly)
3. Do you have plans on re-entering the workforce later on? And if so, what timeframe have you set for yourself?
4. Is there anything you miss? YES! Interacting with people. Getting breaks at work, being able to eat lunch when I wanted. Receiving appreciation, acknowledgment, praise. Getting days off, vacation, short days.

I think you need a #5 - what surprising reasons made you very thankful you chose to stay home

I would never have been successful at breastfeeding had I been back at work within the timeframe I had to be. The start was really rough and my supply was still low at that time. If I'd been away from baby and pumping, chances are pretty high that my milk would have dried up and I'd be paying $$$ for formula and having to deal with bottles at this point.
Also, his behavior has gotten so much nicer. He was seriously a fussy screaming crying baby. Now for ME he is calm. For others, he's still fscb. Recently now around 4 months, he's started also being calm for my husband, but it took longer since dh works and has less time with him.
Also, during the day what happens with him, has a huge impact on our our evening/nights go. If I were not the one caring for him during the day, I'd be clueless as to why some nights are awful and some are easy (and might not even realize the connection).

I'm new to this. I left a great career and my firstborn is now almost 5 months of age. Babies are HARD. They reel you in with their big doe eyes and smile and contagious laughs, but they're harder than anything I've done at work.

I'm glad you asked this. I'm struggling with the desire to want to stay home, and it caught me completely off guard. I'm an ER nurse in a busy ER, total adrenaline junkie, and my pregnancy was a complete and total surprise - I was preparing to train into flight nursing before she popped up! Now, nothing beats those lazy afternoons where we snuggle up together. It's my secret wish to stay home, but it's not possible for our family because I am the primary breadwinner, and I'm okay with that. At least I only work a few days a week.

I was a software engineer for a large company. Making very decent money.
1. I have no regrets about quitting. If they were willing to let me work 20hrs a week I would have stayed. But they were starting to push for everyone to work 50hrs a week "voluntarily" as we were salaried and didn't get overtime, I was also about to start weekend on-call. So I quit. I did work for 2 months while DH stayed at home and it was the hardest time for me. I started feeling detached from my son :(
2. I never really wanted to go into engineering, I was good at math and so that's where I ended up. Now I'm a WAHM. I sew wetbags, do knitting, make stuff from fleece, etc. I also just finished a doula workshop and will be working towards my certification. I also plan on starting school to eventually become a lactation consultant.
3. I really hope to start a new career I want to be a lactation consultant, maybe a midwife too someday. I think for now I am going to take a few classes per term and then when we're done having kids and the youngest is around 5 then I will go to school full time.
4. I miss being alone. I miss having me time. Sometimes I don't get a break for 10+ days and its really really hard. My son is a toddler now and its a whole other world. Caring for an infant seems so easy now. I do find myself wishing I could work out side the home for 1-2 days a week.

I am completely the opposite, if that perspective will do you any good. I always, since high school, wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. When my kids were younger, I resented every second that I had to be away from them (during the times that I worked, when we couldn't afford for me not to) and I never had a *career,* just "jobs."

Now, at 31, with my 2 kids at 6 and 4, I can't stand it any longer. I feel like I never did anything for myself, and I feel trapped, desperate, and lonely. I'm working again now, but it's another "job," and getting work in my *career* (I went to school for vocal performance, but never graduated) is difficult at best. I just know that I have to, eventually, and that I won't be happy unless I do.

I think what little relevance this may have is that it's important to do *both.* If there's even the smallest part of you saying that you think you MIGHT want to be staying home, then you should. We regret the things we DON'T do far more than the things we DO. Don't lock yourself into a single course of action that defines how things "should be."

You'll miss your career, of course. I'll miss my kids if I manage to focus on my career in the way I want to be able to. However, think about this: getting back into your field later, if you choose to, will be extremely difficult... but what's IMPOSSIBLE is getting back the chance you'd be skipping out on by staying in your career.

i've been home for 4 years. my "career" such as it was, got cut short when i got downsized shortly before 9-11. then finding a job i wanted wasn't an option. then as things got better in my field, oops...

i missed not working, somewhat. talking to someone that could talk back, having a set job that was done when it was done, and being able to go home was great. however, my jobs had been horrible awful things that i really only did because i got paid. i just started last month working extremely part time as a peer counselor for WIC. it's actually one of the best jobs i've had, as well as the lowest paying and furthest away from my field (chemical engineering.) it is so low paying that i pay more in childcare, taxes, and gas than i make. my eventual goal is to take the ibclc exam when i get enough hours. and now i get to have conversations with adults, conversations that don't revolve around lightning mcqueen, trains, or bums. and i get 40 minutes in the car by myself!

1. I don't regret a thing about leaving my job.

2. I've done consulting and started a home-based business since the birth of our son. I work around his schedule and keep my stress to a minimum. It allows me to fill in the gaps of my resume and my skills are staying sharp. I hold an MA and worked in a creative field.

3. I'm not sure if I'll every join Corporate America again, unless I'm my own boss. I don't miss 6pm meetings or having 4 supervisors who can't communicate with each other.

4. I miss the DOWNTIME. My job was always on a stall, waiting for the go ahead from the top, or full speed ahead don't break for coffee or the world will end. Being at home means that my downtime must be used efficiently. Use it or lose it.

I really didn't give up anything to be at home with my child. I gained everything. I've never been happier or felt more useful. I take so much pride in my work because I know no one else could do it better. There's nothing more important I could be doing with my time than raising a wonderful little boy.

I quit a good career to stay at home and raise my kids. I was working in the fine jewelry industry.

1. What about doing so do you regret?

surprisingly, nothing!


2. What do you do, if anything, on the side to make money? Is it related to your field?

I do graphic design and web design for super cheap for other moms who want to stay home with their kids and start their own businesses. I see it as kind of a half business half charity thing. It's not really charity, but I work for about $5 an hour, so you do the math :) Technically, it's related to my field since I went to college for art and design. I also write in my spare time for Associated Content. It adds up.

3. Do you have plans on re-entering the workforce later on? And if so, what timeframe have you set for yourself?

No, I think I would like to be my own boss and do something from home for the rest of my life.

4. Is there anything you miss?

Sometimes I miss adult conversation, but that's what my Mom is for :)

I sold fax machines for about a year and a half out of college before quitting when I was pregnant with our second child, to stay home. It wasn't a hard decision because I HATED my job, but every so often I think about going back to work in a field that I would actually like.

1. What about doing so do you regret? (Candor appreciated.) I regret that I wasted a year and a half selling fax machines and then didn't get a chance to start the career that I eventually want to have, so when I do go back to work, it really will be starting from scratch.

2. What do you do, if anything, on the side to make money? Is it related to your field?
Primarily I *save* a lot of money by cooking from scratch, taking the extra time to shop at thrift stores instead of just buying online, careful grocery shopping, etc. But I also teach adult ed. cooking classes and have an Etsy shop sewing baby slings, cloth diapers, etc. (www.jojosmom.etsy.com)

3. Yes, but I will not get a job just to have a job. I did that with the fax machine job and it was a bad decision. My goal is to be making at least $800/month whether in a part time job or my Etsy shop by the time our last child is in kindergarten. I don't know how long that will be because I don't know if or how many more children we'll have. After that point, if the right job comes along, I'll know, and I'll jump at it.

4. Lately I have really been missing being able to dress in work clothes. I treated myself to a nice pair of gray wool pants from Banana Republic this fall and the other day I saw a pair of silvery heels that I love but I honestly have no where to wear them. I don't have the money, or the excuse, any more to go buy nice clothes that I won't get spit up on.

That being said, I don't regret my decision one bit. If anything the years I have spent at home (about 4 so far) have given me time to reflect on what I would like to do for a career once I'm ready and to develop my talents in the areas I'm interested in. Oh, and I have an art degree so this is kind of "in my field." The fax job is the one that wasn't in my field.

I would do anything to stay at home with my son instead of returning next month. Unfortunately I am the only breadwinner in our famly right now as my husband is a medical student but I will be going back 5 hours less OR may take a per diem job that is a further drive but pays 50% more than what I make right now. (i could work 2 days a week instead of 3 one week then four the next) but i would have to give up my health benefits... Once my husband is done residency I will absolutely be a SAH mom. Good luck in your decision, not every woman is compatable with being an exslusive stay at home mom but if you know thats what would make you happy then DO IT!

I have a 9.5 month old and when I got pregnant, I was in school, taking courses for interest (or for fun, however you'd like to look at it!!). I graduated in 2003 and 2006, with two undergrad degrees and for the past few years, I've been wanting very much to go to grad school, except I've been trying to figure out what to go to grad school for -- a toss-up between evolutionary psychology or photography/art history. Halfway during my pregnancy, while I was taking an art history course, I decided that I'd probably be happier taking the more creative route, but that probably involves more school to bulk up my very sparse background in it, and then grad school. That's the plan for now -- when Little Person gets old enough to be taken care of by my parents (right now, she wants to be with me all the time, it seems!), I shall go back to school. Maybe she'll be about a year-and-a-half to two years old at this time.

Frankly, I'm with her practically all the time, while my partner is busy trying to find work in his field as a sport psychology consultant, and some days, it gets a bit much and I really yearn for some time to myself to read and I do dream of the day when I'll be able to go back to school. I won't say I regret choosing to stay home, but I do often wonder what it'd be like if I didn't. At the same time, at this point in my baby's life, I don't think I'd have it any other way. My mom tells me about how heart-wrenching it was dropping me off at a baby-sitter's when I was three months old and I don't think I could ever do that.

At this point, I'd ideally like, in the future, to be able to work from home and to work part-time at a gallery or something. Those are, of course, the best-laid plans and who knows if it'll work out that way.

Like I mentioned before, I do miss being able to have a lot of time to myself to be able to do the things I enjoy in my spare time, and of course, like most other moms, I miss adult interaction.

Oh, and I'm not really doing anything to make money on the side. Although, I've been thinking about selling prints, or submitting my writing for publication and cash. But I've really done neither at this point.

I'm about to complete my degree, but my husband only has a diploma. So for us the choice is obvious... I'm going to get a job and he will quit his and be a SAHD, which is what he's always wanted.