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3 year old hits

Seeking advice in regards to my almost-3 year old's aggressive behavior. We recently moved into a new home with my friend and her same-age daughter. There is a language barrier (they have spoken their native language at home up until now) which might be a contributor to my daughter's aggressiveness. They constantly trigger each other when together. My daughter hits, kicks, yells, and cries often when she otherwise gets along with kids her age. I consistently tell her not to hit, that we love our friends and give them hugs instead. She grasps that idea by repeating it to us, but only after the fact, so I feel like there must be more effective guidance I can be giving her. Positive discipline ideas?

a sleep related post..

So my almost 3yo still doesn't really sleep.

Other than a brief period from 12-18 months when he only woke up once per night, he still wakes up as often as every 30-60 minutes. We thought it was due to night-nursing, so we nightweaned last December at 30 months. He had a few nights where he slept for 6-7 hours straight, and then fell back into a semi-predictable routine of waking up every hour or two at most. Except now he wasn't nursing, but I still had to tuck him back in, get him a cup of water or a snack, and sing to him for a minute or two to get him back to sleep.

So end of December we moved him to his own room thinking that maaaaybe we're waking him up and if we move him the wake ups will reduce in quantity. No go. He's still waking up as much as before, except now I have to go to another room every hour and get him back to sleep... and then choose whether I want to go back to my own bed just to have to get up 45 minutes later, or if I want to sleep hanging off a mattress on the floor.

I started going to bed early, thinking that maybe if I sleep from 8pm to 7am I can make up the quantity of sleep instead of quality.. but then I just lie there and can't fall asleep because I know he'll be waking up soon anyway. I think I'm averaging about 3.5-4 hours per night total. He doesn't nap anymore (can't, used to fall asleep in the car if we took him out around 2pm, but that doesn't happen now either).

Can anyone suggest ANYTHING? Is this even normal at this age? should I take him to a chiro? Naturopath? Allergist? Hypnotist? Voodoo doctor? lol.. His doctor is pretty laid back and isn't particularly concerned as long as he's getting a normal total number of hours of sleep, but I just feel like maybe it's not normal? I mean a normal sleep cycle for a kid his age is more than 30-60 minutes, right?

He's very active and we do playgroups several times a week, as well as indoor playgrounds, outdoor playgrounds and just general active play, walks, etc. He gets a LOT of exercise.

Anti-breastfeeding rant gone way too far

I am so angry I'm shaking right now.

I was driving into work this morning and I had WPDH on the radio during the Coop and Kricket show. They were discussing the mother breastfeeding a 3 year old on the cover of Time Magazine. Coop went into this rant where he called the mother a whore and went on to say:

"What I blame is the husband-or should I say domestic partner since they're in California. But I blame the man. He should keep better control of his woman and get his boy to grow some hair down there. If that wouldn't fly. If that was my wife, they'd find her in a suitcase in my basement."

I'm so filled with shock and anger and rage right now. It goes without saying I won't listen to that station again. I'm going to write a letter and boycott advertisers too.

ETA: This accidentally got posted twice. As both posts have a number of comments, I hesitate to have one deleted. Please accept my apologies for the double-post.

Toddler Naps

We have been cosleeping with our daughter since birth. For naptime, I used to nurse her down and leave her once she was asleep.
Now she's 19 months old and is really starting to fight naps. She managed to keep from taking one all day yesterday. I have gone back to work, but my husband used to be able to put her to sleep by giving her a bottle and laying down with her. Even on the weekends when she's with me, she fights it so hard that sometimes I have to keep laying her back down, telling her it's naptime, and letting her scream and fight against me until she gets upset, nurses, and passes out. Yesterday, my husband just wasn't able to get anything to work, so she didn't have any naps at all (and was a grumpy little thing from 2 pm on as a result).

We're to the point of considering depositing her in her crib and walking away. She's not an infant anymore, but I still worry that this counts as CIO and is bad for her. The only thing is, I'm not sure what to do when nothing else is working.

I don't have time to read books, but I was wondering if anyone on here could help out.
Hi everyone... I'm due to have a baby in the next month and I'm having trouble deciding on a sleeping arrangement. I want to have the baby in the room with us and very close to me for at least six months, but probably much longer than that. I would really, really like to co-sleep but my husband and I are both sleepwalkers and talkers and I won't feel comfortable putting him in bed with us till he's big enough to defend himself.

Here are the options I've investigated:

I have a Baby Delight Snuggle Nest, which I bought it so we could nap separately with him but I don't think I'll feel comfortable with him in it all night. Plus he will outgrow it quickly.

I have a Graco Pack and Play travel crib that someone gave us and it sags badly in the middle. It looks super uncomfortable. That apparently is a popular complaint with the model I have. My other problem with Pack and Plays is that the bassinets seem to only accommodate a baby up to 15 pounds and we're going to want him in the room with us for longer than that.

I looked into the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper, which seemed to be the perfect option, but people were complaining about the thin mattress. When I looked at it at BRU, it seemed pretty crappy, like a piece of cardboard with a little padding, but at least it accommodates babies 20-30 pounds.

I can't sidecar a crib due to space.

I don't really have the money for a portable crib and it seems wasteful to have more than one crib since we have a full-sized one for when he's much older.

Is there some other bassinet/contraption out there that I'm missing that will accommodate an average-sized kid up to about six months in age or probably even older? I'm willing to revisit bedsharing when he can hold his head up and roll over, but I don't want to get him home the first night and find that the crib, which is in another room, is the only safe and comfortable option. :(

Is this what they do?

My 18-month-old has a tendency to not pay attention to where she's going and she's always tripping over things in her path -- toys, books, our limbs, even her potty. If there's a clear path, she won't walk through it, preferring instead to step on everything around it. Sometimes, it's a matter of her running, rather than taking her time, but more often than not, it's just her stepping on stuff. As a result, she's bumped her head and knees a few times from tripping. We try to keep her play area neat, but it's crazy to have to keep putting everything back on the shelf every few minutes. We try to tell her to step on the floor, or walk on the clear path, but she soon forgets and it's back to stepping on the plastic lid of the crayon box. I'm wondering if this -- not paying attention to where they're going -- is normal for toddlers?

Oh, and while I'm wondering about what's normal for toddlers, are they also a little neurotic about where things belong? My kid is very specific about where certain things, who sits where, who's supposed to wear what. It's worse when she's in a bit of a mood and she starts tantruming because I'm not wearing the right shirt or something like that. I know kids are all about routine and regularity, but this just seems a bit much.

Tantruming 17-month-old

Maybe it's the heat or teething or just a plain bad mood or something, but my 17-month-old has been throwing quite a few tantrums lately, often because she wants something she can't have. Other times, the cause is simply a mystery to us.

During her tantrum, she arches her back and refuses to be held, so we put her down on the carpeted floor, where she keeps arching her back and screaming bloody murder, tears and all. We've noticed that if we're talking to her and telling her it's okay, or that we understand why she's frustrated, she screams ever louder, arches her back even more and ends up being a tearful baby wiggling all over the floor. You'd think we were trying to slay her like a dragon. However, if we don't say anything directly to her (kinda-sorta ignoring her, I suppose), she quietens down. At which point, we'd ask her if she's okay, she'd start freaking out again. This goes back and forth until she's ready to be held and nursed.

The Dr Sears' Discipline Book recommends holding a tantruming child under the age of two. I want to hold her, but with the back-arching, she clearly doesn't want to be held during a tantrum. I don't feel right ignoring her either (a suggestion Dr Sears gives for tantrumming older kids), but talking to her while she's on the floor screaming just seems to make things worse in her world.

How do you guys cope with a tantrumming toddler of this age? Thanks in advance!

Sleeping & food & swaddling @ 6 months

Our angel is now 6.5 months old. She's started on solids — baby-led, she only eats what she can grab and shove into her mouth and she loves it. We're having a tough time trying to work out how this fits in with her day, like when to breastfeed and so on. Some books say just beforehand, some say an hour before. She's refluxing a lot less than she did when she was only on breastmilk, but still occasionally if she drinks too much too fast. She's definitely fartier now!

Anyway, at almost the same time, she's started getting strong enough to wriggle out of her swaddle at night. She's been swaddled one arm out for about a month and doing fine, sleeping in good four-hour chunks. But now she's getting the other arm halfway out and waking up screaming and scared. So we've started trying her completely unswaddled. The first night she had a fabulous time and the day after, she had two one-and-a-half hour naps, unheard of for our little catnapper. We thought we'd found the solution! But since then, she's having a really hard time going down for naps at home — goes to sleep, startles awake a minute later screaming, settles, rinse and repeat. She's sleeping fine in the car seat or in the Ergo carrier, just not in her cradle right now. And she's waking every two hours at night and won't settle to a pat, has to be fed... And the waking at night is whether she's in the sidecarred cradle or in with me, there's no difference.

I'm wondering:
  • Has anyone else transitioned out of a swaddle at this age and what are your tips?
  • Could it be food-related? She's only eaten potato, sweet potato, pumpkin, carrot, banana and pear (she doesn't like avocado) and we've introduced each one in the morning on its own and watched for allergy signs and haven't seen any related to one particular food. Could it be wind?
  • Could it be because she's now getting fed more often in the day that she's wanting to be fed more often at night?
  • Could it be that she needs fewer naps? How do you cut out a nap? Which nap? We're still responding when she looks tired (yawning, rubbing her eyes) and that's still about two hours after she wakes up. She then only has a 45 minute nap IF THAT — with the current fussing, she's getting a 10 minute nap sometimes.
Any and all suggestions gratefully accepted...

The crazy sleeping habits of a 16-month-old

I know about the sleep regression at 18 months, but I'm almost convinced my 16-month-old is going through it prematurely. Her bedtimes (and sometimes naps) have just been awful the past few weeks. I know she's tired but she's absolutely riled up (despite us trying to be mellow to set the tone for bedtime) and just refuses to sleep. It makes us absolutely crazy and frustrated, to the point where I wanted to throttle her (and sometimes, her daddy, who's sprawls half on the floor and half on the beanbag and tosses out the odd comment to our baby who's playing by herself three feet away, and he considers this "watching the baby"... but that's another story!). And then she finally goes to bed late and does something ridiculous like wake up early. Seriously, child, sleep in! I don't know which is worse -- that, or the constant whiny lawn-mower sounds she makes at 2am, while not in deep sleep and popping on and off the boob. Arggggh. Sleep has become such a battleground. Has anyone else dealt with something like this pre-18-month-sleep regression? Please tell me it gets better. I hate, hate, hate being so frustrated with my otherwise very adorable munchkin. It makes me feel like such an awful parent. [/end rant] Thanks for listening!!

cosleeping and snoring?

Two questions from a new mom here. Our son is just 2 weeks old, which would be why I'm posting at 3am in between a set of cluster feeding, *sigh*. Neither my husband or I planned on co-sleeping once we had kids, we've just kind of been playing a lot of stuff by ear and going with what feels right, and co-sleeping so far is what feels right for us. (His family is not supportive of co-sleeping, and my family doesn't talk about... anything, so I've been looking online for resources, advice etc.)

Ok, so first, I didn't see anything in the memories on this - my husband snores. Like, a lot and often very loudly. It doesn't seem to bother our son at all, but since he's so little I know when he's actually in deep sleep he can sleep through almost anything. Is the snoring likely to start bothering him at some point, and if so at what age? My husband's snoring still drives me crazy, yes after 5 years, but the baby could probably hear those snores in the womb, so for all I know it may be normal to him.

Second- and this is more of an opinion poll- how do you arrange blankets for you and your infant when co-sleeping? Do you just swaddle him and put him on top of your covers? Do you share your blankets with him? Our son seems a bit weird in that he only sometimes likes to be swaddled. Sometimes he loves it and sometimes he'll scream and kick until his legs are free.


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